It Wasn't Worth It
by Hallowberry
Summary: Ivypool thinks back to when she killed Antpelt, thinking of how much she loved him... how becoming a Dark Forest warrior wasn't worth it. Not worth it at all. Just a really short story. Cover coming soon! 3 Also I didn't know what to put for genre 2. xD Link to cover: /art/It-Wasn-t-Worth-It-385521944


_IVYPOOL'S POINT OF VIEW_

I sat there in the middle of the forest, gazing off into nothing. My mind was set to nothing but him. By him, I mean Antpelt—the handsome brown tom from Windclan. I laid there on my side limply, not caring about anything else in the world except him. I covered my face with a paw as I let out a low wail, thinking about the day.

The day all of this had started.

Hawkfrost stared down at me, looking rather impressed by what I had said. All I had really said was that I wanted to become a warrior and be at the front of the line when the final battle came. I did not want to be at the back, where all those stupid cowards hid behind the stronger ones.

Brokenstar, who was right nest to Hawkfrost blinked. He unsheathed his sharp claws and raised a paw, staring at it. "Alright."

I felt myself rise with joy. I let out a smile.

"But!" Brokenstar continued, turning his head to the grey tabby. "Only if you can beat Antpelt again."

I stared in shock before shaking myself. I loved Antpelt and did not want to hurt him, but this was important to me. I needed to prove that I was strong. Brokenstar stood up and padded away, followed by Hawkfrost. Hawkfrost beckoned with his tail and I jumped over beside him swiftly. He looked at me and flicked his ear before turning his head and stared at Brokenstar's crooked tail.

"Antpelt!" Brokenstar yowled loudly. I instantly knew Antpelt had just joined the scene.

I could hear his gentle footsteps as he trotted towards the three felines. Antpelt looked up at the bigger tom. "Yes?"

Brokenstar lashed his tail. "Ivypool wishes to become a warrior of the Dark Forest."

Antpelt titled his head. "And I'm part of this how?"

I looked down at my paws. Unfortunately, Antpelt did not get it.

"Ivypool must defeat you to become a Dark Forest warrior," Brokenstar snarled. "The battle shall be held _now_."

Antpelt stared at me with horror as I looked away, flattening my ears. Hopefully the battle wouldn't be too serious.

Brokenstar gave Antpelt a vicious glare and Antpelt instantly knew he was supposed to follow the others. He fell back near the end, right beside me. We walked so close together that our pelts brushed. It wasn't long before we were far behind. I looked down. I could feel Antpelt's gaze burning through my pelt.

"So I here you want to be a warrior here? He asked me.

I looked up at him. "Yes, yes I do."

"Are you sure you have what it takes?" He sneered.

"Yes!" I said louder, pouncing on him.

Once I had knocked him over, I eased off and giggled a bit. Antpelt looked as if he were about to smile, but looked away with an expressionless look on his face. I flicked my ear and looked over to Hawkfrost and Brokenstar who were just blurs among the dark grass.

"What are you doing? Get over here you little pests!" Brokenstar snarled, his awkwardly shaped tail bristling.

"And you call yourself worthy of being a warrior?" Hawkfrost added on aggressively.

Antpelt got up and trotted towards the two toms, followed by Ivypool.

"Stupid mouse-brained kits…" Brokenstar hissed quietly before moving on along with Hawkfrost.

I flattened my ears and continued onwards with the others. I should be ashamed of myself—what kind of warrior acts like a kit? This was serious.

Brokenstar sat down under some bushes, looking at the clearing ahead of them. A boulder rested in the middle of the clearing,

"We're here," he mumbled.

Hawkfrost laid down beside Brokenstar as he watched me and Antpelt walk over to opposite sides. I pawed at the ground, ripping up some grass. I couldn't believe I was actually doing this. But it would be worth it… right? I sure hoped so.

Brokenstar's gaze fixed on Antpelt, then Ivypool. "Begin."

Antpelt stared me down with a cold, heartless look. It was then I realized that this battle would mean life or death for me. I had to kill him, even if I didn't want to.

Suddenly Antpelt interrupted my thoughts by leaping on the stone, then crashing down on top of me. I yowled and slashed him across the nose, then kicked his belly, sending him stumbling back a bit. It was just enough time for me to get up. Antpelt growled at me and snapped at my tail. I yowled and jumped on the boulder, Antpelt hot on my heels. I attempted to leap away, but he had grabbed me by my tail and tossed me backwards. Hawkfrost watched me with fear, but tried his best not to show it. Since when did he care?

I shook and got up, only to have Antpelt claw my face. I hissed and lunged for his neck, but only got his shoulder. I sunk my sharp teeth into his flesh and refused to let go. He bit his lip in pain and slammed himself into the ground, crushing me. He got up and stared at me, pinning me down. I coughed. This tom must have done nothing but train once he died. He's way stronger than me!

I imagined Thunderclan and Dovewing and what they would do without me. They would be crushed, especially Dovewing—I was her only sibling. As Antpelt raised a paw, I screeched my loudest and slashed his chest. I rolled out of his grip and pounced onto his back, knocking him over. Antpelt hit the ground with a large thud as he let out a faint meow of pain. I instantly pinned him down by his neck, claws unsheathed. I dug my claws into his throat. Antpelt looked up in pain, but I had to keep living for my sister and the clans. I just hoped he understood.

Antpelt hissed and tried to slash my eyes, but I easily dodged. If I were to kill Antpelt, I had to do it now. I hesitated for a moment before slashing his throat and belly open. I opened my eyes and stepped back as I heard a horrible shriek of pain and agony. I felt his warm blood spilling onto my paws.

How could I have done this? I ran over to his side and crouched by him.

"Antpelt…?"

Antpelt was only moving his arms around rapidly as blood spilled out of his belly. He was gasping for air.

"Don't try to move-"

"He shall not be healed. Let him be," Brokenstar snapped.

I ignored the old Shadowclan leader. I loved Antpelt and I had done something horrible to him.

"Antpelt? Antpelt… I love you… and I always will," I whispered softly in his ear.

Antpelt only twitched now, staring weakly into my eyes. Antpelt tried to say something, but she could not understand. Suddenly Antpelt tensed. His eyes shook just before he fell limply onto the ground. I wanted to scream my loudest, but I couldn't. Not here, anyways.

I felt a tear roll down my face, but I wiped it away. I got up slowly and padded towards Hawkfrost and Brokenstar. Hawkfrost looked at me with an impressed expression while Brokenstar had a wicked smile on his face. They were obviously proud of me, but I was proud of nothing. I had done something so horrible and I could never forgive myself for it.

I made my way towards the lake. I stared at my reflection. It looked as if my fur was stained with blood, but I knew I was imagining it. I put my paws in the cold water. I frantically washed my paws, but I knew the scent of his blood would never go away. I stared into the sunset.

I was in love, and always would be.

**Just a really short fan fiction I made because I was at my Grandmother's house for the night. ;w; I'm going home today, though, so a new chapter of Hollyleaf's Decision will probably be up!**


End file.
